I have read a lot about grammar recently. I thought I didn’t know that stuff. I’m talking about tenses, participles, modifiers, and all that other shit. Turns out I was right: I don’t know much about grammar in the academic sense. Although we had English classes, grammar wasn’t taught as a formal subject when I went to school, and most of us learned it the natural way – through osmosis. What I have discovered, however, is that I understand a lot of the rules implicitly. I suspect that I mangle verb-tenses left, right, and center, but I can put together a coherent sentence – most of the time.
Writing badly, deliberately, is much easier than writing well.
Here are some deliberate stinkers, concocted just for fun:
- Steven crashed the car into the brick wall, causing considerable damage to happen to it.
- Betty sat down on the chair. Whilst eating her pie, the bomb exploded.
- After slyly concluding his undertaking , Mary appeared impatiently; he was concerned, irregardless, at the presently observed state of her flobulent canapés.