Pegman does Norfolk-Naturism

On an island like this, you just have to be naked. No seriously, you really have to be. Be one with nature. Spread your wings beneath the blue sky with its golden orb and fluffy white floaty things. Bound through the meadow, leap over the stream, dash from hillock to hillock, bush to bush, tree to … wait … Is that a thorn tree? Well, maybe a raincoat then, in case it rains and you run into a thorn tree, or a bee-hive. (2nd week running, angry bees have made it into my story – make note to discuss with therapist). Right then: naked underneath a raincoat and a bee-keepers veil, although bees don’t fly in the rain – so on the other hand…. Aaaaaaaargh! There are no axolotls on this island anyway, grumpy or otherwise, and whose idea was it to erect that damnable fence and cut the fucking grass? Bah!


© Grumpy Axolotl.
Written for What Pegman Saw
Image: Google StreetView

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Appalling!

Prompt: Lifestyle

So there was that time I visited a nudist resort. I was utterly horrified by what I saw. Here are some examples of what the utterly loathsome perverted creatures who haunt such locales partake in

  1. They swim in the pool
  2. Do gardening
  3. Play darts
  4. Play foos-ball
  5. Read books
  6. Play billiards
  7. Cook food on a barbeque
  8. Drink beer
  9. Play table-tennis
  10. Socialise
  11. Swim in the pool again
  12. Followed by sunbathing
  13. Play board-games
  14. Hold pot-luck dinners
  15. Waste time on jigsaw puzzles

All that and more … with bare bottoms.

Disgusting!

There ought to be a law.

Seriously though. If you have never partaken in naked swimming or sunbathing, you are missing out on some of life’s most simple and natural pleasures.

Moreover: Today is World Naked Gardening Day. Dig it man! But I live in the Southern Hemisphere. Venture outside naked at this time of year and it’s stiff-nipples guaranteed.


(C) Grumpy Axolotl