Manu Talks forever

Manu talks forever
He doesn’t stop

Tweet twiddle diddle pop
Weet twirdle middle bop
Sweet middle fiddle flop
Complete riddle kibble hop

Thou shalt not converse loudly whilst Manu is in the room.
He squawks up a storm, and he can go louder than you can. That’s right, he can go louder than you can. Cockatiel! Cockatiel!
When you spill coffee all down the front of your treasured Gucci blouse and yell “Phooey!”, my bird will laugh at you.

Manu talks forever
E hika! He doesn’t stop

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Rhyme without Reason

Language block, cock-block
Writer’s block, lost sock
Tick-tock, cuckoo clock
Can’t pick bloody lock
Door knock, take stock
Throw another bloody rock

Carrot sticks, parrot sticks
Rhythm sticks, fiddlesticks
Sherbert sticks, pervert sticks
Transvestites look up women’s skirts?

Clock ticks, cattle-ticks
Window break, coffee-break
Jewel fake, orgasm fake
Step upon garden rake

Turf war, smurf war
Obelix eats wild boar
To hell with your smart-phone
Yes please, a saxophone.

A train got lost at the station
Lost & found, Northward bound.

Threat Trifecta

So, I wait outside whilst she is clothes-shopping.  It’s a hot day. Thank gibbering-fuck for SMS!  Short Messaging System. AKA text/txt messages in New Zealand. Just the thing for micro-abuses and dashing off quick ransom-notes. I threaten to throw a tantrum if I don’t get a milkshake. When she emerges, she buys me a milkshake. Beautiful.

I threaten to take my parrot to a fetish party. He’ll have a whale of a time, chewing on all the leather, and he’ll come home screeching “Polly want a spanking!”

The summer was just too freakin’ hot, so I threatened to change my religion to nudism. I can’t fathom why my friends have stopped calling.